The many faces of Carl

My 50th birthday just past by me last week in kind of a blur in some ways. I was so stressed out to be 30 but being 50 feels great. I guess maybe because I think that 20 years later, I have something to show for it! At 30 I was just pregnant all the time and chasing my babies. I feel beautiful at 50 in a way I did not feel 20 years ago. More comfortable in my own skin.

One of my best accomplishments is my four children. Each time I look at them, even now as adults, I feel so much love for them that I can hardly contain it. I am so proud of each of them. They always got along well and often even did plays all together in the same cast. This is the four of them in 2000 for a play "Twelve Dancing Princesses"

They are each unique in their own way and very much their own individual people. The babies I adored and kissed to death are all grown up into such great adults.

My son Carl ( my oldest and picture above with his two younger sisters) is so sweet to me and such a tender man. He is brilliant at so many things: artistic, musical, speaks several languages, well read,talented actor and a fantastic older brother. On my birthday he did a concert for me and played his guitar to me in the living room. I did allow the rest of the family to listen. But Carl was singing for me. It was all I could do not to cry.

Sometimes I joined in a sang with him softly. When he was a baby, he told me I did not sing very well and it "hurt his ears". He was completely right and now that he is grown and has perfect pitch, I know why it hurt his tiny ears and laugh about it.

Carl and his brother Lane made me a nice birthday dinner. They have never looked too much alike even as children but right now they both have the same haircut so I had to snap this photo. Lane makes the most sarcastic expressions. But Carl was my first baby, the one that stole my heart and made me melt. I made more mistakes on him than I can count. I was so nervous as a new mom that I would screw things up and be the kind of parent that I had growing up. I boiled everything in site, followed him every place, never put him down for longer than it took to use the restroom and kissed him a billion times at least in the first month.

Carl has many moods and faces as well as being able to use all kinds of crazy accents. He has always been quite a character.

Carl at about 10 minutes old

Carl was our Christmas gift.

Carl being super cool and laid back as a toddler.

His first play at Manzanita Elementary School in Seaside, California. Age 8.

Graduation from Monterey High School in 2004 with Buck at his side.

On Stage in 2003 for Ariel Theatrial in Salinas, California.

Hanging out with Cole and his band members.

Carl might be playing the guitar on stage one evening, his saxaphone another or dressing up for a Cosplay Event as Char from the Gundam Series or hanging out with friends the next and each time he is always having a great time.

His recent hair cut was more painful for me than it was for him. He has grown his hair out to donate twice now. He just has such gorgeous hair.

Life can be full of regrets if we let it. I try not to have too many. My big one is probably not becoming a Pediatrician when I had some great scholarship offers. But girs in Utah just did not do that in the 80's. However, I have no regrets about having my children except that I would have liked even more!!

Being a mom is the best job ever and I am please that Carl is my son. He made my birthday really special for me this year. I won't ever forget it. Probably a good reason why I named him Carl "Bruce Springsteen" Salbacka! All that rock and roll rubbed off on him! I love you Carl!